I rarely drink anymore, I have a 9 month old daughter who I spend almost all of my time with. For some reason the thought that I have a little one to take care of today completely eluded me last night. Too much wine and delicious strawberry rhubarb beer seemed to make me not think about the inevitable hangover that would follow.
I knew it was bad the moment I opened my eyes today and couldn’t remember going to bed. Then BOOM let the hangover begin…
1.Hangover Headaches with a baby
Headaches are bad enough, now have one with a squealing, yelling and high pitched crying baby. Don’t forget the annoying repetition of those baby toys you have to get them. If that doesn’t send you running for the hills, don’t worry there’s more.
2.Upset Stomach with a Human Jumping Bean
So you feel gross and now your sweet smiling little one wants cuddles. So you take a deep breathe and pick them up. The ugh feeling in your stomach happens and you try to sit still. Then after a 2 second hug she is crawling and jumping on your stomach. You really start telling yourself that you will never drink again.
3. No feel better naps
Remember when you could hid in your bed or lounge on the couch and watch your favorite TV shows and drift in and out of sleep on a hangover? Ya that’s not happening with a baby that needs your attention, thus dragging out the horrible feeling you are experiencing.
4. Running to the bathroom in a child proof death trap
You think ok, I ate a half a banana and a ton of water. I am going to feel better soon! Nope, your stomach decides those are horrible food choices and they must go. So is a panic you sit your little one in a safe spot and make a mad dash to the bathroom. But first you must hurdle toys, fumble with baby gates, its a miracle you made it in time. Of course as you are heaving up your sad breakfast she’s crying. Great!
5. Changing a poopy bum with a queasy stomach
Then it happens. The red face, the grunts and the bubbling sound. No not me, her. Oh my god it stinks. Someone has a poopy bum and guess who needs to deal with it. YOU! Of course is a Poonami of epic proportions, I marvel of a specimen that required 10 wipes and almost came out of the diaper. Your only saving grace is that you were too lazy to dress her so she is just in a diaper.
Finally I am starting to feel better but what a day. If my husband wasn’t here taking care of Boo Boo Chicken I would have been calling my mom. Special thanks to that man of mine for being a parent of 2 today. You rock babe.
Oh and I am never drinking again.